To you, my friends, I expose the soft underbelly of my big dragony body. If there's one thing all these stupid greeting cards reveal about me, it's that I have a giant weakness for puns. Bad ones, brilliant ones, they're all the same to me.
The "Shanks" girl is totally Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2. And holy crud, the "Wanks" boy is totally Rat Bastard from Hopeless Savages! I have no originality. Woe!